Aftermath
by bluexxxcarnation
Summary: In the aftermath of everything, it is time to face that of which you have brought upon yourself. "I had never wanted to do that! I care, dammit! I care!" One-shot


A/N: This one-shot is inspired by a line in "The Perfect Dream" written by elle6778. Sasuke had said "I would have regretted it," referring to when he tried to kill Sakura. So it got me thinking... and obviously it led to this.

Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer applies.

* * *

**Regret.**

All it took was a harsh punch in the face; courtesy of the one you always deemed "dead last".

Defeating Madara was not easy. The both of you are so exhausted and worn, emotional and physically, that for a moment you wonder if you'll still be alive to greet the dawn. The two of you stand side by side looking over the aftermath of the battle. You're actually surprised you're able to stay on your two feet.

You've thought that too soon as Naruto swings around and his fist meets you squarely on the side of your face.

This is how you find yourself. Flat on your back, a scowl etched on your features, and an urge to strike at the very person who knocked you down in the first place. Before you can even get up to return his "kind" gesture, he summons shadow clones to keep you restrained against he ground. You can do no other than to listen to him as he shouts down at you.

You listen as he scream and waves his arms around frantically in that way that it's almost comical. He shouts about how _you are such an idiot and why the hell would you abandon us not once, not twice, not thrice- you know what? I don't even know how many times you left us! _

You make a comment about how he probably can't count that high, which causes the blond to give you a quick kick to your side (where you think you have a broken rib or two since that actually hurt). He promptly tells you to shut the hell up and hear him talk.

Naruto continues on with his assumption that your hatred had completely consumed you to the point that you probably had no idea what you were doing.

You take a moment to consider that thought. You try to recall what you've been doing in the last couple of months. You can't seem to do so, in fact, you can't seem to remember what you did the day before.

You tune back into Naruto's words to hear him talk about how spoke to Baa-chan about your condition. You interrupt him to say there's nothing wrong with you. The blond stares down at you with an expression akin to sadness.

"Baa-chan says you were suffering from psychological trauma. After your fight with Itachi,"the name of your late brother still burns at you in a savage and mournful way, "you were so bent out of shape that you couldn't withstand the pressure. She said that in a defensive response the brain could… you know, block things out."

You look at him with a look clearly calling him an idiot and you made sure he knew this.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair his face completely forlorn. "We think that everything you did was due to that response and if we snapped you out of your hell bent path of revenge, you would begin to remember everything and you'd be able to make rational decisions."

You want to object because his theory sounded completely absurd.

"She also said that maybe I should punch you across the face, too, which I did. Is it working yet?"

His words are almost teasing, just as they should be, but his humor is empty, you realize. Your face remains empty but you begin to scrutinize the person in front of you. You remember from your genin days the glint that was always in his cerulean eyes. That glint spoke of mischievous actions, happiness, and innocence so precious that even you didn't have the heart to destroy it back in the day.

But that glint is gone. He stares at you with a sense of seriousness that you are not used to. You're left wondering what happened to him.

You also remember another person who had the same look in their eyes as well. You try to remember who it was. Naruto seems to notice that you're having a mental struggle and he quiets down.

_Who is that other person, _you think to yourself. You close your eyes hoping for an image from your memory. You hear a whisper of a voice in the back of your mind. It was so soft, so transparent that for a moment you had to wonder what the hell was going on.

_Sasuke…_

Who was it? You can see flashes of red and white pass through your mind.

_Sasuke…_

A wisp of a memory. Pink.

_Sasuke-kun… _

Someone used to call him that. Your head is pounding, but you push through.

_Sasu-_

The memory is fading. No! You realize that whatever memory this is, it's of the utmost importance. You try even harder to keep a firm grasp on this mental path. So much of your concentration is focused on this task that you don't realize that you're beginning to sweat.

_Sasuke-kun!_

The image of emerald eyes flash in your mind. You open your eyes and push yourself up. You don't see how in a show of sudden strength you managed to push Naruto's shadow clones off. You don't see how Naruto is suddenly shaking your shoulders worried about your well being.

Because all you can see is the pair of bright emerald eyes as they stare at you in fear, tears brimming the edges.

You don't remember uttering her name right before you lose consciousness. You also don't see that the name nearly breaks Naruto's heart in half.

"Sakura."

XxXx

You wake up to a pounding headache and a body so sore you begin to wonder if you're dead.

But above all you wake up to the memory of terrified green eyes.

You try to remember what became of your pink haired teammate. Was she in the village?

You hear shuffling and you finally find the strength to open your eyes. You are greeted with the sight of a darkened room. The room is sparse of furniture, only the necessities. You conclude that you're in a run down hotel room. You also see that Naruto is sitting in a chair across the room. He is hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. His orange jacket is slung over the arm of his chair leaving him in a black t-shirt.

You listen closely and you find that you can hear the sounds of his sobs. Naruto is crying.

"What's wrong with you,"you ask almost rudely. You don't know how to handle a sad Naruto. It's uncalled for.

Naruto doesn't shoot up to say something in blind defense, his shoulders only sag even more so into himself. He takes a moment to calm down before wiping his face with his hands.

You don't like a silent Naruto so you decide to ask the question that's been plaguing your mind.

"Where's Sakura?"

This time Naruto does jump up and he looks at you with eyes burning with anger. "You don't remember, do you? Not yet? Of course not! You've always had it easy!"

"What are you going on about?" you seethe through your clenched teeth. His loud accusations were doing nothing for your headache and you had no idea what he was talking about.

"I'm talking about Sakura-chan!"

"Where is she?"

Naruto's hand rakes through his hair roughly and he almost looks like he wants to strangle you. "You can't remember!" He almost sobs out.

"Remember what?"

"She's dead."

The news strikes at you in an unfamiliar way, a way that pulses through you so strongly you momentarily forget how to breathe. Sakura was dead. Sweet, innocent, annoying Sakura was dead.

Emerald eyes flash through your mind again, but her features are becoming progressively clearer. You can almost see the individual streaks of her green irises. Her pink hair is an image of clarity. You are once again struck at how the once weak and overlooked Sakura had grown to become a beauty all in her own, not that you had acknowledged it at the time. But what strikes you the hardest is the look of utter defeat and sadness on her face that seems to squeeze at your chest.

Your body begins to shake as flashes of memories come back to you. All your crimes and misdeeds returned in a rush. The oppression of your evil was so dark and overwhelming that you want to vomit, but in spite of the numerous images crossing your mind the memory that you're holding currently is the one that is the most important.

Your hand is circled around her neck, crushing her trachea. You feel the power pulse through you as you raise her to hang in the air. You begin to remember the anger and the sick satisfaction of having her life in the palm of your hand. You are slightly disappointed that she wasn't struggling, seemingly accepting her fate. The weight of the kunai in your left hand weighs almost gleefully to you. She betrayed you and she was going to pay. She had lied to you and she had tried to strike at you. You raise the weapon towards her.

"Sasuke, don't!" the voice of Kakashi is all but an echo in the back of your mind.

"Sasuke!" You also realize that Naruto has arrived, but he is too late.

She meets your gaze straight on in silent acceptance, but there is fear. Fear for you, not of you. This beats at you worse than her betrayal. She is still so annoying with her damn affections.

She says your name in the softest of whispers.

And then her blood was shed.

Not able to handle any more, you forced the memory out of your head, out of your heart, and out of your body. You can't stand it anymore. You can almost feel the life being squeezed out of you, your humanity hanging from a thread once again.

You don't know how you manage it, but you squeeze out your next words, even though you already know the answer, "Who?"

Naruto seems to have aged years as his face seems to die. "You."

The truth breaks you apart. You didn't mean it. You hadn't even wanted to! It was a mistake! It wasn't your fault!

You gag and heave the contents of your stomach on the side of your bed. Your head is pounding and the air you're breathing in doesn't seem to fill you up. You cradle your head in your hands, your body shaking. This wasn't supposed to happen. You dig the heels of your hands into your eyes trying to push the image her out of your mind, but you can't. You can still remember how the light of her eyes left her. How she seemed so weightless in your grasp. You let out a broken sob as you remember how you tossed her aside so carelessly. You remembered how you laughed maliciously as her blood spread around her.

You call out towards Naruto, almost as a plea. "I had never wanted to do that," your voice is hoarse, "I care, dammit! I care!"

Naruto doesn't look at you with pity because he is shouldered with his own hurt. The loss of a teammate, a friend, a sister. "I always wondered if I would hate you for what you've done or if I would condemn you, but now that I look at you," he laughs so humorously so brokenly, "I don't have to because I see it in your eyes. You may not have known it, but I think that if you had given a chance you could have fallen in love with her." Naruto nods to himself a look of sick satisfaction. "Actually, yeah, you would have loved her. It's a shame, isn't it?"

You didn't have the heart to tell him that deep down… you probably already did.

* * *

I don't really know what to say about this one... I didn't really know how to end it. Maybe because, in my mind, there is no end to Sasuke's hatred or his pain. It's just a never ending cycle. It just about breaks my heart really.

Reviews are appreciated.


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